Monday, April 4, 2011

The Blues Superhero

For a moment, try to think of some superheroes. There is Spider-Man, Superman, Batman, Daredevil, Wolverine, Wonder Woman, Fantastic Four, Green Lantern, X-Men, Iron Man, The Incredibles, Spongebob, etc. Notice how there is no superhero representing blues music. But never fear - I'm about to create one. He shall be called Blues Man - defender of and friend to the blues music world.

I couldn't help but picture the newborn Blues Man looking something like the mascot of the NHL hockey team, the St. Louis Blues:

Louie
(Taken from secondcityhockey.com)

As nice and non-threatening as Louie the Polar Bear looks, I don't think his image would fit in with the other superheroes. Plus, there are certain qualities that a superhero needs to posess in order to be considered a genuine superhero. Unfortunately, Louie doesn't really have superhero traits. He may seem pretty great, but in reality he helps cheer on a losing team that never makes the playoffs. I mean, Batman does drive the Batmobile, which is pretty awesome. On the other side, Louie maybe gets to hitch a ride on the zamboni, if he's lucky. 

Here are some of the characteristics of superheroes:
1. Strong
2. Brave
3. Intelligent
4. Wears a costume
5. Athletic
6. Role model
7. Has a weakness
8. Has an arch enemy
9. Secret identity (alter ego)
10. Love interest
11. Has a goal
12. Special powers
13. Earns respect
14. Has a sidekick
15. Unique
16. Uses gadgets
17. Has a lair or hideout
18. Interesting past
19. Vehicle
20. Determined

Blues Man has to be strong, brave, intelligent, athletic, a good role model, respected, unique, have a unique past, and determined. As for a costume, he could wear whatever the average blues musician wears, as long as he has a cape (so he can fly). His weakness would, of course, be hearing any type of music except blues music. With that said, his arch enemy would be Justin Bieber. His secret identity or alter ego would be easy to pull off. A blues musician is a person, so they can easily blend in with the rest of the human population. His love interest could be anyone really, as long as they're into blues. His number one goal would be to rid the world of terrible music (although not all non-blues music is terrible). I'm talking about Rebecca Black's "Friday," music like that. His special powers could include: flying, bluesy-soul singing, guitar playing, superhuman strength, superhuman speed, invisibility, and x-ray vision. His sidekick could be "Jazz Boy." The Utah Jazz, a NBA team, has a mascot that actually looks like a superhero, or at least a Chewbecca type of creature. Here he is:

Bear
(Taken from kenthorner.com)

Well, one out of two is better than nothing. It's better than the Minnesota Twins (1-2 as of right now). Anyway, Blues Man's gadgets would include the traditional grappling hook, nunchucks, and bazooka (joking on the last one..I think). Also, Blues Man could carry a guitar that shoots out bolts of lightning, hot lava, or both. His lair/hideout could be in one of the House of Blues, or in North Dakota because it's slightly isolated. And his vehicle could be the bluesmobile (as seen in The Blues Brothers). There you have it - a blues superhero called Blues Man.

CAUTION: RELIGION

The more I thought about superheroes and their characteristics, I began to realize that the greatest blues superhero guy of all time is Jesus. He's strong, brave, intelligent, unique, and determined. Sure, he didn't really wear a costume (unless you count a robe and sandals a costume) and he didn't have a love interest. However, he did perform miracles (water to wine, healing of the sick, etc.), walked on water, and rose from the dead. He didn't have a weakness, but he is Jesus (basically God in human form, so no weaknesses there). I'm not sure if Jesus was athletic, but he was and still is a good role model. He does have an arch enemy, who will not be mentioned in this blog because he doesn't deserve that respect. Speaking of respect, Jesus gets a lot of that too. To my knowledge, he didn't really have a secret identity, unless you count "nicknames" (Messiah, Jehovah, Savior, etc.). His goal is salvation through him dying, resulting in eternal life (accomplished). Jesus really didn't use gadgets because he generally believed in peace. He spent a lot of his time around Israel (he was born in Bethlehem, but grew up in Nazareth) and the Sea of Galilee region. He actually had 12 sidekicks called disciples. He didn't drive a vehicle, but he did ride a donkey into Jerusalem and elsewhere.

When you think about it, Jesus could be the ultimate blues superhero. Blues music wasn't around in Bible times, but it seems as though Jesus was always facing bad situations that would have fit well with blues music. When Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the donkey (or colt, depending on which Gospel you read), everyone liked him. He was basically the Lady Gaga of the day, when comparing the amount of superstardom present in the individual. But his likeability didn't last long. One of his disciples, Judas, betrayed him for thirty coins. Another disciple, Peter, denied his friendship with Jesus not once, but thrice. He was arrested, mocked, and sentenced to death. The people who had praised him before were now the ones saying he should die. He was humiliated, spit on, nailed to a cross (that he carried with some help from Simon from Cyrene), and crucified. Even when he was hanging on the cross, some people still made fun of him and stole his clothes.

Eventually, Jesus was under so much torment that he cried out to God ("My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" - Matthew 27:46). You'd think by now people would've had some mercy. It's really dark and gloomy outside, Jesus is half-dead; why not just close the show? Nope. Instead, they grabbed a sponge, soaked it with wine vinegar, stuck it on a stick, and raised it to Jesus to drink. Vinegar and wounds really don't go together so well.

After that, Jesus died. He was buried in a tomb (bought by a friend/follower, Joseph), and after three days he rose again. Then he went to heaven. So, it all ends well. But, there was some bad, blues-filled drama in there, too.

Since Easter is approaching, I think Jesus' story is appropriate. If you want to have a good visual of what Easter is all about, check out The Passion of the Christ (2004). Be aware that the film is rated R and contains gruesome graphics. Also, please be aware that Mel Gibson directed and he's about one outburst away from reaching the Charlie Sheen status on the anger management scale.




Artist of the Week: Eric Clapton
(Taken from guitarbites.tv)
It's purely coincidence that Eric Clapton's nickname is "god" and he's the Artist of the Week (refer to the paragraphs above). Eric Clapton is an innovator of blues-rock. If you've never heard an Eric Clapton song, I am asking you to remove the rock from above your dwelling place. This guy is a genius in terms of guitar-playing, songwriting, and singing. Clapton is originally from Britain, and at first he played in bands like Cream and the Yardbirds. Later on, he ventured into performing solo and it's been that way ever since. Some of his greatest songs include: "Sunshine of Your Love" (w/ Cream), "Crossroads" (w/ Cream), "Layla" (w/ Derek and the Dominos), "Wonderful Tonight," and "Tears in Heaven." If you've never heard Eric Clapton, I encourage you to check out his musical masterpieces. Here's one:



New Album of the Week: Icon by B.B. King
Released 04.05.11
(taken from walmart.com)
Speaking of great guitarists, B.B. King has a new album, Icon, to be released tomorrow. It's another "greatest hits" type of compilation, but that doesn't mean it loses its value in my eyes. Icon has got some of the best blues songs all in one disc. My recommendations are: "How Blue Can You Get?", "The Thrill Is Gone," "Ain't Nobody Home," and "I'll Survive." If you enjoy great guitar playing and blues music in general, you'll love B.B. King's new album.

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